i didn't give up. i just have been living it instead of writing it all down.
ill be back shortly. i hope you are all waiting eagerly... yeah right, ha.
gnochi is a weird thing to say/type. whoa.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Sunday, November 9, 2008
art as less than a career
i'm catching up on everyone's blogs and i became sad. not particularly with the dr, but with everyone in general that changes their major, drops, or feels too much pressure to fit a certain mold to continue with being an artist. moreover, i hear more and more of people who are choosing to make art more of a hobby than a lifestyle.
it's hard to be an artist and of course, it's more than likely that only 5% of us, if not less, may actually succeed in the art world (which of course depends on your definition of 'success', but that's another topic). but for me, the scary-ness of being a BFA (and eventually, MFA) and trying to get my work out into the world pales in comparison to the thought of not doing what i love for the rest of my life. i don't know, maybe that's a little dramatic. i mean, you can make art in your free time and not dedicate your whole life to it. but i choose to make it my life because nothing makes me happier. finishing a project gives me a rush i can't find anywhere else. not even from sex. kidding. sort of.
anyways. just a thought. i notice some friends that got their BFA's and pumped out so much work when they were here, but now that they've graduated, have hit that wall that, I'm sure, everyone does after getting a liberal arts degree. and it scares the shit out of me. and i have no financial support from my parents so i have even more pressure to succeed when i graduate than the average undergrad. but that's life, right? it's scary and it's big and it's new and who knows what i'll do. but it's something that can also be really amazing
it's hard to be an artist and of course, it's more than likely that only 5% of us, if not less, may actually succeed in the art world (which of course depends on your definition of 'success', but that's another topic). but for me, the scary-ness of being a BFA (and eventually, MFA) and trying to get my work out into the world pales in comparison to the thought of not doing what i love for the rest of my life. i don't know, maybe that's a little dramatic. i mean, you can make art in your free time and not dedicate your whole life to it. but i choose to make it my life because nothing makes me happier. finishing a project gives me a rush i can't find anywhere else. not even from sex. kidding. sort of.
anyways. just a thought. i notice some friends that got their BFA's and pumped out so much work when they were here, but now that they've graduated, have hit that wall that, I'm sure, everyone does after getting a liberal arts degree. and it scares the shit out of me. and i have no financial support from my parents so i have even more pressure to succeed when i graduate than the average undergrad. but that's life, right? it's scary and it's big and it's new and who knows what i'll do. but it's something that can also be really amazing
Thursday, November 6, 2008
socks the cat
tomorrow starts an experiment i'm working on, with breaking the barrier between the art-making space and the living and breathing and relaxing space. i plan on documenting it with photos and a written daily account of my experiences. it'll be interesting, and i hope it goes well.
it will likely be the last major endeavor before my final project. we'll see how this works!
we still havent turned the heat on. todays the first official VERY VERY COLD day. i did a bunch of laundry so the dryer would run and heat the apartment. it's... lame. i hate that bill.
my dad sent me socks in the mail, and he called and left a voicemail to notify me by saying, "here's a riddle, what was the name of the clinton family's cat?" and as i was listening, i said quietly "socks... he sent me socks?!" he did send me socks. 12 pairs.
i've quietly sat back for the majority of our sculpture class, watching people come check in with nik, then leave to go home and back to bed. it's pissing me off, yo. i know of the idea 'worry about yourself', but jesus christ, if we don't have the community that, you would think, comes with an upper division sculpture class, we're being cheated! it's lame. i feel like this class has become really detached, aside from our occasional crits together. maybe it's partly my fault for working in my studio. maybe it's not having the classroom to ourselves, the way we've had in the past. or maybe people just stopped caring. i'm getting the most from my experiences, so i guess good for me, but i pity the people that are taking intermediate/advanced for the first time and don't realize what a good communal art-making spirited group they could be a part of.
lastly. i was pretty pissed today. i let myself get taken advantage of pretty easily sometimes. i don't like to be dis-liked, so i make an effort to be polite and sympathetic, sometimes when i really don't care at all. i also hate dealing with yelling and confrontation, probably as a result of living in a 'yelling' family (you know, the kind where every person is trying to yell over the other?). so. as a result, sometimes i get so... PISSED! and feel like there's nothing i can do about it because, you know, i don't want to be mean. or a bitch. so i ignore and ignore and let the annoyance just pick at me over and over again. i'd change. but change is so hard...
it will likely be the last major endeavor before my final project. we'll see how this works!
we still havent turned the heat on. todays the first official VERY VERY COLD day. i did a bunch of laundry so the dryer would run and heat the apartment. it's... lame. i hate that bill.
my dad sent me socks in the mail, and he called and left a voicemail to notify me by saying, "here's a riddle, what was the name of the clinton family's cat?" and as i was listening, i said quietly "socks... he sent me socks?!" he did send me socks. 12 pairs.
i've quietly sat back for the majority of our sculpture class, watching people come check in with nik, then leave to go home and back to bed. it's pissing me off, yo. i know of the idea 'worry about yourself', but jesus christ, if we don't have the community that, you would think, comes with an upper division sculpture class, we're being cheated! it's lame. i feel like this class has become really detached, aside from our occasional crits together. maybe it's partly my fault for working in my studio. maybe it's not having the classroom to ourselves, the way we've had in the past. or maybe people just stopped caring. i'm getting the most from my experiences, so i guess good for me, but i pity the people that are taking intermediate/advanced for the first time and don't realize what a good communal art-making spirited group they could be a part of.
lastly. i was pretty pissed today. i let myself get taken advantage of pretty easily sometimes. i don't like to be dis-liked, so i make an effort to be polite and sympathetic, sometimes when i really don't care at all. i also hate dealing with yelling and confrontation, probably as a result of living in a 'yelling' family (you know, the kind where every person is trying to yell over the other?). so. as a result, sometimes i get so... PISSED! and feel like there's nothing i can do about it because, you know, i don't want to be mean. or a bitch. so i ignore and ignore and let the annoyance just pick at me over and over again. i'd change. but change is so hard...
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