picture update

First off, pictures of us all at Cameron's show. I love these, they crack me up.






And then we had snow, and we built an igloo outside out door. We now have a complete snow wall.







FUN STUFF!

I'M HERE

I know I told you I was living it and not writing it up... now i'm writing it up.

how long ago was my last thorough update? a month? okay so then i guess here's whats new since then:

i've finished most of my work for my courses. my last paper for french was due today, we'll see how that grade works out. there's still some stuff to do before crit on thursday, and i need to install it on wednesday night, but other than that, i like to think im sitting pretty good for everything to be turned in.

i've been dealing with a lot of roommate issues. oh my god, just now when i typed roommate, i actually started writing the word 'girlfriend'. fuck. she is so overbearing, guys, it feels like i have a girlfriend or a wife or something. (ew, btw) she just doesn't let up. i've had some conversations with a few of you that are close to me, but i cant really put into words how bad things have been. there is a new example everyday because it happens. every. day.
i just starting writing, and had an entire paragraph about what happened today with her giving me a ride and safeway... but i deleted it, because it just feels so beneath me to care about it. same shit, different day. i let myself get bullied. and i give her too much power.

so ive been making some work, and have come up with an idea for my thesis show from a bitchy comment made by my sister... she said to me about my latest painting, "ew, it looks like a Target painting." little did she know it was her birthday present. so it got me thinking about associations, and particularly color association. the painting is of concentric circles... in rings on teal and magenta. she sees that saturate red color and thinks of target... of course the symbols help too, but seriously. what about color themes and their associations? so i started a painting, its another geometric piece. but the color palate is green, black, white, brown, and a coffee stain. and this might stick, guys. if all goes according to what im hoping, my bfa thesis show will be a show with color association and remarkable color palates in every piece. sculptures, paintings, performances.... color will be in my thoughts and ill create accordingly. i hope. what do you guys think of this? does it interest you at all? and my titles would give hints as to the brand or memory or item i was referencing. any interest?

have you ever read something you felt like you shouldn't have? have you ever... come across these items you shouldnt read but read anyways? i have. im ashamed to say that i dont just put those things down, or walk away, or ignore the item you see with your name in it. im not talking about within the art department, i just mean in my personal life. like letters. or old diaries that belonged to my mom. or text messages because someone tells you to get something off their phone and it puts you within 2 messages of something with your name on it. am i really terrible? fuck... i hope not.

mmm i like cilantro, its delicious

what else? oh, ok, how about the news that i have gotten myself into a sitcom-esque situation? yeah. my dad bought me a car, in california. and told me he'd buy me and my driving buddy of choice one way tickets to la to get the car and drive it to olympia. i asked roomie initially because i didnt want to involve my mother and sister (ew, 23 hrs in the car w them? once was enough), and we agreed that it wouldnt work out for her. so i asked richard (this guy im seeing) if he wanted to take her place and he said yes. then he said wait, no, i think i have evals until thursday. what about thursday? and i said ok, thats still earlier than saturday. so then roomie tells me that shes available for friday and she went and told her parents that we'd need a ride to the airport friday night. so now im double booked. and im too big of a pussy to tell roomie im going with richard, she'll think 'hey! bros before hos!' and if i tell richard im going with roomie and not him he'll think 'but i thought she was feeling bullying and annoyed by her roomie? what the hell?'
oh hell, i dont know what im going to do


i guess thats it for now guys. let me know if you want to know something else you think i might have left out. ill update later
its frustrating, i dont know what to do.

i didn't give up. i just have been living it instead of writing it all down.

ill be back shortly. i hope you are all waiting eagerly... yeah right, ha.

gnochi is a weird thing to say/type. whoa.

oh man

art as less than a career

i'm catching up on everyone's blogs and i became sad. not particularly with the dr, but with everyone in general that changes their major, drops, or feels too much pressure to fit a certain mold to continue with being an artist. moreover, i hear more and more of people who are choosing to make art more of a hobby than a lifestyle.

it's hard to be an artist and of course, it's more than likely that only 5% of us, if not less, may actually succeed in the art world (which of course depends on your definition of 'success', but that's another topic). but for me, the scary-ness of being a BFA (and eventually, MFA) and trying to get my work out into the world pales in comparison to the thought of not doing what i love for the rest of my life. i don't know, maybe that's a little dramatic. i mean, you can make art in your free time and not dedicate your whole life to it. but i choose to make it my life because nothing makes me happier. finishing a project gives me a rush i can't find anywhere else. not even from sex. kidding. sort of.

anyways. just a thought. i notice some friends that got their BFA's and pumped out so much work when they were here, but now that they've graduated, have hit that wall that, I'm sure, everyone does after getting a liberal arts degree. and it scares the shit out of me. and i have no financial support from my parents so i have even more pressure to succeed when i graduate than the average undergrad. but that's life, right? it's scary and it's big and it's new and who knows what i'll do. but it's something that can also be really amazing

socks the cat

tomorrow starts an experiment i'm working on, with breaking the barrier between the art-making space and the living and breathing and relaxing space. i plan on documenting it with photos and a written daily account of my experiences. it'll be interesting, and i hope it goes well.
it will likely be the last major endeavor before my final project. we'll see how this works!

we still havent turned the heat on. todays the first official VERY VERY COLD day. i did a bunch of laundry so the dryer would run and heat the apartment. it's... lame. i hate that bill.

my dad sent me socks in the mail, and he called and left a voicemail to notify me by saying, "here's a riddle, what was the name of the clinton family's cat?" and as i was listening, i said quietly "socks... he sent me socks?!" he did send me socks. 12 pairs.

i've quietly sat back for the majority of our sculpture class, watching people come check in with nik, then leave to go home and back to bed. it's pissing me off, yo. i know of the idea 'worry about yourself', but jesus christ, if we don't have the community that, you would think, comes with an upper division sculpture class, we're being cheated! it's lame. i feel like this class has become really detached, aside from our occasional crits together. maybe it's partly my fault for working in my studio. maybe it's not having the classroom to ourselves, the way we've had in the past. or maybe people just stopped caring. i'm getting the most from my experiences, so i guess good for me, but i pity the people that are taking intermediate/advanced for the first time and don't realize what a good communal art-making spirited group they could be a part of.

lastly. i was pretty pissed today. i let myself get taken advantage of pretty easily sometimes. i don't like to be dis-liked, so i make an effort to be polite and sympathetic, sometimes when i really don't care at all. i also hate dealing with yelling and confrontation, probably as a result of living in a 'yelling' family (you know, the kind where every person is trying to yell over the other?). so. as a result, sometimes i get so... PISSED! and feel like there's nothing i can do about it because, you know, i don't want to be mean. or a bitch. so i ignore and ignore and let the annoyance just pick at me over and over again. i'd change. but change is so hard...

drinking a pot of coffee tastes like chlorine and makes my teeth clack

after going home this weekend and watching my sister get ready in the morning, i feel like a sloppy hippie. don't get me wrong, i'm a daily shower-er. i wear clean, simple clothes every day and i smell relatively pleasant. however, i don't wear a layer of make-up. i don't curl my hair or use product, and often i don't even blow-dry my hair. sometimes i wear socks and sometimes i don't, and i especially don't wear a matching piece of jewelery. i haven't had a professional haircut in over 3 years (every hair cut has been DIY, thank you very much!). i don't get my nails done. what would be the point, they'd be wrecked in a matter of hours... and so i come back to my apartment in pullman contemplative...
how would my life differ if i gave a shit about the sort of things my little sister does? if i used a curling iron and a wand of mascara every morning, would i....? the fact that i'm single isn't what i mean, either. i mean would i be more successful? would more people approach me? would less? ... what sort of judgements would people make when seeing me, as opposed to what they feel now?

just a thought.